Once upon a time there was a buffalo named Jacques. Jacques was the king of all the buffalo. He'd buffalotize with all of his loyal subjects, day after day. They all respected his buffalosity with an incredible fervor. He was their king. He was to be revered! Twice as much, too, because he was by far the greatest king they had ever had.

And then the news came in: the bison from the neighboring village were on the march toward the buffalo's humble settling.

"King Jacques, King Jacques!" all the buffalo cried when they heard of this invasion force. "What are we going to do, King Jacques?"

"Not to worry," he buffaloed from the balcony on his castle, "I will reason with Octavius, the leader of the bisonese people."

"Oh King Jacques," the buffalo all chorused, "Will you ever fail to impress us with your bold statements of ability?"

And so the word was spread that there was no reason to fret, for King Jacques would save them.

But a week later, the bison were still marching toward them.

"King Jacques, King Jacques!" the buffalo cried, "Why have you not reasoned with Octavius yet?"

"Do not worry, my buffalo," King Jacques announced, "I'm just biding my time until they're weak from travel and are beginning to regret going through with this march."

"Oh King Jacques," they chorused, "How we love you so."

And so the word was spread that Jacques would save them from this continuing threat. He just needed more time.

But three days later, the Bison were nearly there!

"What to do, what to do..." Jacques murmured while in the private of his study. He often buffaloed to himself while in private. "I promised reason, and we'd lose in battle, but Octavius... I can't deal with someone as crazy as him. I'm not ready for this..."

"King Jacques, King Jacques!" all the buffalo cried, "They're almost upon us!"

"Shut up and leave me alone!" Jacques commanded.

"Oh King Jacques," they chorused, "Wait, what?"

So the word was spread that King Jacques was too busy planning, and he didn't have the time to address his subjects.

One more day later, the Bison were there. A good portion of the buffalo were slaughtered and the rest were imprisoned.

Presently, the prisoners were shackled together, Jacques at the front of their line.

"King Jacques, King Jacques," they all cried, "How do you plan to free us?"